My Experience as OAU Resumes

“…but I went immediately into Arabia…then after three years…”
-Apostle Paul
For two months I have been at home. Doing what? Well, a lot of things. Like what? I can’t say all but for the purpose of this piece the bottom-line of all my activities centered on one thing-self discovery. And this for me is the best thing I have done for myself in a long time. I initially had the intention of going to Lagos to get a good job to ‘pay my bills’ but to no end was I able to fulfill that desire. But I found something better as I then decided to spend time with family, get closer to God, read books, listen to the political side of radio and write articles. Each activity engaged in for that time span have greatly shaped my existence to give me a deeper sense of purpose, making me see life as a most valuable teacher. Some folks from my school may have used the period to learn a skill or two which is a fantastic initiative but to make a self evaluation and to use that knowledge, for me is a nobler act.
The great apostle went into the obscurity of Arabia for three years to prepare for what lied ahead of his ministry, after receiving the insight of his life purpose. He sacrificed those years to stay out of the limelight until he had gotten it figured out. Now he might not have gotten all the answers that he was seeking, but he invested that time in ‘digging in the stakes’ that would define his ministry experience. Therefore when the tough times came tumbling down on him like a pack of bricks, he was ready.
When my brother told me that the school shutdown was a ‘blessing in disguise’, I looked at him with an expression of ‘what did you say?’ Two months down the line, I can say he was right and I was wrong. Life has its way of twisting to fit the plans of Providence. Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.* Much of such twists and turns may be inconvenient but, they are for the better. The years of writing UTME repeatedly, the years of childlessness in marriage, the shutdown of school a few months to graduation-are all workings of something bigger than all the plans you may have, acts of a God behind the scenes. Only learn to trust and obey.
* Prov 19:21
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True Love: Myth or Fact?

They both met on a ship. He was an adventurous young man seeking to start a new life in another country. She was the daughter of an aristocrat, young and lovely to look upon. By an unknown twist of fate, they found themselves head over heels in love with each other. Their love was true and pure even till death when he had to sacrifice himself for her to live after their ship capsized. 50 years later, she is old, alone but still in love with him as she reminisced her experience to a group of explorers searching for answers.
If you are usual viewer of top grossing movies, you will already know that the story is that of The Titanic. When you watch a movie like that, you feel good and enjoy the story while it lasts. The feeling is mutual when you read a romantic novel-it makes you dream of true love come true. But more than once life has shown you another movie, one in which you are the main act, and of which the storyline turns pretty sour at the end. At this point you begin to reconsider the ideal you have about the existence of this so called true love.
“It probably does not exist. Let Disney continue to thrill us with their fantasy stories while we live in reality”, you think aloud to yourself.
There are certain things that make true love come true, in real life as we like to say it. One of such is that true love comes not by chance but by choice. The two lovers must truly and reservedly show themselves undiluted love, care and attention. Again, there can be no true love without giving. Giving in this context does not include splurging a month’s pay on a first date to impress her. Giving means opening your hands to each other’s needs without asking the common human question: “What’s in it for me?”. It is being that person that he can bare his soul out to, coming naked to you-without any fear of reprimand. Sacrifices are part of love. Where sacrifices are not made, love is not apparent. The Creator so loved his creation that He gave his dearly beloved son to die for their sins, even though they denied Him. Ancient Israel monarch, King Solomon sacrificed an innumerable count of cattle to his Lover. The depth of the love is evident in the size of the gift. Such sacrifices can be in finance, in time or in personal sentiments.
On a final note, true love must be worked hard at. It is said that nothing good comes easy and without pain, there can be no gain. If you have love as small as a mustard seed, in which you sow into the soil of the heart of one another, and both nurture it well, in time it will bloom to become a tree that gives life to the hope of the existence of true love in our world, becoming a testimony in the hearts of many to its alive, hale and hearty nature. After all, we all have the capacity to experience such love, not only Mr. John Legend.

Please feel free to say what you feel...your comments are most valuable!

The Treasure of Self Knowledge

A man’s identity is one of the greatest forces of power he will ever reckon with. A deep seated understanding of who you are and a continuous flow of knowledge of your history, your resources, your strengths and weaknesses is enough to set you up for success in life. I have seen it happen in my short time. When the ignorant come to tap from this reserve of power their lives literally change. Where they walked hunched, feeling sorry for themselves, dancing awkwardly to the demanding beats of society, swaying like an old whore, they break off the bondage and fly away to do exploit like a butterfly from the cocoon.
Many still wonder why many African countries are backward in many regards in comparison to the western nations. Why electricity is not stable, why the economic climates of the countries are not thriving, or why after many years of independence from the colonial outpost they still do not get their heads around the concept of democracy practically? The answer is buried under the rubble of wars, terrorism and epidemics that have ravaged the continent for centuries. Lying there inside the treasure chest is the core of the African story; who they are and what they possess and what they can do with it. But sadly enough the many decades of slavery and colonialism have ravaged mama Africa, in fact it is a surprise she still stands. Leadership summits like the recent one hosted by Barack Obama may come in handy, but Africa must find her own way at the end. Billions of dollars in aid may come from the United States, the United Kingdom and China but still yet Nigerians, Libyans, Monrovians, Somalians and their brothers and sisters in other African nations must begin to open the Books of History and discover how they fit in the Big Picture called Earth.
The whole same concept applies to the individual. The story of his success and the journey to it begins with a discovery of the potent force of purpose. Everyone is asking ‘why am I here on earth?’ ‘Why was I born to the country I was born into?’ ‘Why do I have the experiences I did while I grew older?’ There are certain things in life we may never understand but these questions must be answered for us to live fulfilled. They might not come as an epiphany, but gently, in a slow mischievous whisper, pouring forth gradually year after year.
Your identity is locked in the discovery of your purpose. Find that purpose. Until you do this the darkness and emptiness will remain. You were not made to live an ordinary life; great things are in stock for you today. Stop thinking less of yourself but make demands on your capacity for results. You are a success!
Oluwatobi Gbemisola
Tweet me @TobiGbemisola

The Principle of Retraction

When faced with tough situations and daunting life challenges, the default human response is either to take flight or to fight back. The weak minded, he whose strength is small on the battlefield of life, scampers away for safety, like a scared dog, with his tail between his legs. But the strong minded, the man and woman of character, withstands the dire state of circumstances and weathers the storm, no matter how severe it gets. The strong do not just withstand unfavorable circumstances; they however take a step a further by gleaning lessons from the set back. Such set back in life could mean having been fired from work, the close of a business as a result of recurrent loss and debt, the death of a loved one, or the breakup of a relationship. In every trail of life, there is always a lesson to be acquired, if we maintain a teachable spirit and attitude. In every failure is a gemstone of inspiration for success. It takes the wise at heart to discover such lessons and use them against the reoccurrence of such a calamity. It is learnt that after Hurricane Katrina had devastated major parts of New Orleans, USA several years ago, the engineers in charge of reconstruction are said to have used materials that would prevent such a catastrophe of that magnitude to have negative consequences on the landscape in the future. Also, the American Airspace Security systems have nonetheless improved greatly after 9/11, an event which still leaves Americans with fresh memories of its horror.

You see, this period of not-so-good conditions that put us on edge are a normal phase of life. From the moment we were born into the world, it was ordained that a mixture of good and bad, a bed of roses and thorns, be made ready for us. Life would not always be sweet, beautiful and easy. There are times when you may want to question your faith, when you look into the skies and with a low pitched voice ask ‘why?’. From the man in bowler hat in Aso Rock to the man in the shanties of AJ City (Ajegunle, Lagos), each one receives his own fair share of calamity.

Our responsibility in life is not to only accept this harsh reality of life but to live beyond it. There is a state of mind and living that settles for less and accepts the status quo as normal. Mediocrity, as it is called, is a backward way of perceiving the world. It is the single greatest threat to success, excellence and fulfillment. Mediocrity  is what separates CEOs from low level staff, Big business owners from one man businesses, happy and strong families from broken ones, great companies from good ones and first world countries from third world countries. The successful maintain an excellence mindset which sets them at the top. We should strive for the best in whatever we do, to come out tops and achieve the very best; in our work, relationships, families, finances and spiritual living. Aiming for the best and the top should be our attitude in whatever endeavor we pursue.

In the bid to fire an arrow from a bow, an experienced marksman will retrieve the arrow from its quiver and place it strategically on the bow string. As it happens, he has to pull back the arrow on the string that is, to retreat it just before firing. As he does this, he simultaneously aims at his target. Now the farther the distance to the target, the more retraction the arrow has to undergo and also the more the tension in the bow string. Such a marksman will not retract the arrow very slightly for a very far target.

Applying the principle above to life, it can be said that for there to be a step up, there has to first be a step back; for a climb up the mountain, we might slip a couple of times. We can also say that the greater our dream, goal or purpose, the more training we have to take in the university of life. For gold to come out pure, it has to go through an arduous process of refinement.  If your goal for instance is to build a multimillion naira business, then the training you would undergo would be quite different if you wanted to only set up a kiosk by the street. Though you might start small but you should not stay small, no matter the comfort being small brings. You should continuously seek for opportunities to grow and hone your skills at whatever you do. Try to produce better results than before previous times. Before undergoing a new task or project, ask yourself ‘how can I do this better than before’? If your life is plotted as a graph, it should have a gradual upward movement along the axis.

Come to think of it, the great men and women who rewrote history had many failures, trails and challenges. Nelson Mandela whose memoir I have just finished reading (Long Walk to Freedom) was many times separated from his family, could not bury his first son and mother when both passed away and spent 27 years in isolation for his beliefs. Helen Keller from infancy lost her senses of sight and hearing but still went on to get her education and write songs we still sing today. One of the greatest monarchs in biblical Israel times, King David, son of Jesse, was the least preferred of the sons of his father. The great deliverer of the Hebrews, Moses, spent forty years in exile from the ones he loved before he could lead them. There are countless many more men and women of valour that have had to grow out of the calamity of life to become all that they wanted to be. Before the sunshine is the rain, just before dawn is the darkness and before the dance is a time of mourning.

In the midst of unfavourable circumstances, don’t give up, instead man up and learn all you can. Like the butterfly breaking forth from the larvae of lack, low self esteem and addiction, take flight towards your destiny of bright colours today. I wish you all the best in your journey to greatness.
Sincerely yours, Oluwatobi Gbemisola.
Your Life Coach
@TobiGbemisola

Who Are You, really?

I am a student of Obafemi Awolowo University. I am the first of a family of seven, I am a Christian…all these descriptions…do they really define who I am? Many things define who we are these days: our marital status, age, occupation, educational status, school, class, size of bank account and so on but I am so sure that all these do not define the core of who we are. All these descriptions are what the society tells us that we are, simply labels. Some of us have ended up being who our well meaning parents or honest friends want us to be. We have pursued a career because our parents desire us to be that person; our friends may want us to wear a genre of clothes, walk in a particular way or talk in a ‘cool’ way so that we may ‘feel among’. As we engage in this endless tirade of brainwashing we lose our sense of identity and identification. The one-upon-a-time bold four year old girl that could stand up to anybody regardless of who the person was few years down the line has been covered up by the trampling of an insane culture of labels. We have become like the boat floating on the Atlantic Ocean, with no direction, going wherever the tide leads.

We need to awaken to a deeper sense of reality and purpose of who we really are. Inside each of us is a spirit that is unique to each individual, like the thumbprint or the engineering of the iris. It is left to you as an individual to recognize your individuality and treasure it, more than any other thing. No one has ever been like you or will ever be like you till the end of time. There will never again be an average heighted, dark skinned, handsome and smart young guy like Tobi Gbemisola ever again. Therefore I celebrate myself every day; I appreciate my Creator for making me who I am as I am. This is the attitude every person should employ in life, in every waking moment.

We need to come out of the identity the society has labelled us with and come to embrace the real us. How do you achieve this? We can find answers by focusing on our spirit. This is can be attained with the help of a qualified counsellor, spiritual leader or life coach but it can also be done alone. By focusing on your heart or spirit, you can start to identify what matters most to you in the midst of many distractions. You need to pull away from the busy movements that characterize everyday living and find time alone for yourself.
As you engage in this self edifying exercise, ask yourself:
•What do I want in life?
•What are the things that are most important to me?
•If I had all the money and time and all other resources I needed in the world, what would I like to become or do?
As you meditate deeply about your responses, write down all that come to mind, without reservations. Think big, far, wide and great. I can assure you that by the time you are done, you would have accomplished that which a lot of people put off for the entirety of their lives. I celebrate you greatly as you have taken this step in the right direction.

Oluwatobi Gbemisola,
Your Life Coach
@TobiGbemisola

From the Creator's Heart

DON'T YOU GET IT?
I made the heavens and the earth,
the large bodies of water and the rolling hills,
the lion, giraffe, monkey and great sea whale.
I created vegetation to grow for you,
for your pleasure and to have all things under your feet.

When your first cry after you emerged from the womb was heard,
I was right there, witnessing your glorious entry into a dying world.
I beheld your smiling mother and your gladdened father.

As you grew older over the years,
tear after tear, wound after wound,
I was there to comfort and heal you.
I put food in your stomach, air in your lungs and clothes on your back.
I protected you from car accidents, electric shocks and premature death.

I was right there, through it all, all the way.
I am still right here, with you, all the way.

Yet you still worry and doubt, complain and fret
about the smallest of things.
Or have you forgotten?
The cattle on a thousand hills are mine,
gold and silver are mine,
the heart of the king is in my hand,
the wind and sea have no choice but to obey me.
So my dearest, be careful for nothing, 'cos
my love for you is eternal and I have chosen you before the foundation of the earth to reign as King.
Therefore I, your Father-God say to you,
Get it straight this time!

Your heavenly Father
ELYON

A Single Guy I know...

It’s been 24 years now, 24 years without a girlfriend. Each movie he watches, like the Great Gatsby, religiously reminds him. As he listened to 2 face's Kiss of Life, the stark reality stands before him. Every time he goes out at night on campus, passing from Motion ground through Moremi to Awolowo Hall (#teamOAU), the thought haunts him. It’s his final year in school, and 'time dey go o brother', his friends tell him. He tells them in reply, 'I still have a few months to go on campus, I still have NYSC, so why the rush?' Whenever he meets a new girl, on social media or in the department, he wondering ‘could she be the one I put the ring into her finger and declare my eternal love to, the very girl I have been waiting for all these years?’
Tired of being in the friend zone, he left such relationships, weary of waiting and hoping she looks his way and considers him for a boyfriend...as her last hope. "What nonsense, I am more than the worth of ten thousand guys she dates!", as he thinks to himself every time he feels like regretting his leaving. Lucy had been the girl he hung out with as a ‘friend’ after asking her out that night three years ago, but last semester in school she told him she was in love with another. Sometimes these female folk can be wicked!
Just two nights ago, his friend Emma came displaying his new girlfriend like a trophy. "Wetin sef, na only you waka come?” he thought to himself as Emma excitedly gave him his own version of the Romeo and Juliet story.
He takes comfort in one thing, which is that as far as marriage is concerned, he isn't ready for it, so why should he need a relationship? He believes he is not for games, that he is a very straight forward person like Frank Donga, The Interview prodigy. He doesn't need a relationship to keep himself busy. He has a vision, a dream and a career to live, build and to actualize. No time for dillydallying. So as Uncle Leke Alder (#Letr2Jack) has told him, he will continue to live, pray and love until Miss Right walks into his life!

Oluwatobi Gbemisola
@TobiGbemisola
Your Life Coach

A Heart for Nigeria

Can Nigeria ever be better? Can the country I was birthed into many years ago improve from where it is now to a better state? Will there ever be a time when her most promising ones find refuge in her and make her great instead of finding the way out of the hell of a country? Will there ever be a time when we would not remember what it was like not to have electricity, like my dear friend Joseph Adeosun has predicted? These questions and many more pour into my mind every day, making me stare into the open, numb with consciousness at the happenings in my immediate environment.

A month ago the school management of Obafemi Awolowo University (where I study) gave us the ultimate shocker: they hiked the school fees of fresh students by over 300 percent and then went later on to hike that of her returning students. As a body, the students for a few days stood up and in the best way they could, fought valiantly against this act of oppression. We staged a few days of protest until the management yet again did it; they shut down the university after just a day of protest (such a drastic action is only supposed to be taken after 72 hours of protest). But we would not be dismayed, we stood still yet and fought and such we did until…things started to fall apart. In the heat of the struggle, we could not with a singular decision come against our oppressor. Instead a good majority of students only wanted out and to go home. They did not want any part in the struggle. Now I sit at home, more like a conquered man than a victor.

This act of selfishness and self centeredness only makes me wonder if ever we will prevail over the forces of corruption in Nigeria, if at a small scale like in the university environment, we cannot stand as one, as a united force to demolish the gates of the stronghold of oppression from the management. If majority of Nigerians continue to exhibit a nonchalant, I-don’t-care attitude to issues, we would continue to have a ticking time bomb of a country. How much more shall we continue to be shoved, beaten, tricked and dribbled? Will we continue to look on while our motherland is laid to waste by political bigots, terrorists and a corrupt cabal? I don’t know how much longer we would continue to fold our arms and wait for a supposed savior to come and deliver us from ourselves. Until a few years ago, I had an unweaving belief in a better Nigeria, these days, that belief is far becoming a mirage. Instead of taking up a cause and pursing its fulfillment with all our hearts, Nigerians only prefer to ‘settle it in the place of prayer’; praying against demons, spirits and witches that have stood on the way to their breakthrough and financial prosperity like the Goliath of Gath. A little digression here though, not that I don’t believe in the power of prayer to change the nation, I also believe in the active engagement of ourselves to make a change. Where is the fighter spirit in us? Where are the Nigerians I saw that took on the Federal Government in January 2012? Where are the Nigerians that hold their leaders accountable for their actions with government funding? Where are the Nigerians that say no to corruption, injustice and political and religious bigotry?

I use this as an opportunity to awaken us to come alive and arise to be all God wants us to be. We can be more than this. In us is the potential to be the most desirable nation to live in and transact business, in Nigeria we can realize the dream of our founding fathers, in Nigeria I believe. So I say to all Nigerians, arise and fight!

Oluwatobi Gbemisola
Tweet me @TobiGbemisola