god of Love

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 As much as I respect the viewpoints, opinions, perspectives and advice given by a godfather towards the life of a godchild, I also strongly feel there is a limitation to such imposition. A godfather or mentor might be relevant in dishing out instructions and advice up to a certain extent but not on some other matters, especially as regards matters of the heart. I know a young lady that has been getting a lot of disturbance from her godfather about her relationship. She strongly wants to have the relationship with a guy she made first contact with on social media but her dear godfather is telling her not to be involved with him. This in effect has rendered the relationship tumultuous every time he called or texted her. He believes she isn’t ripe for a relationship at 20, even though she feels that she is ready to love for the first time in her life. He asserts that she needs to find purpose before the relationship, but she is a woman of purpose and vision even at her young age. With all his bugging she doesn’t even know what he wants!

In such instances as this, I feel there is a major role of using one’s discretion and using wisdom to sift through a mentor’s/godfather’s advice. As much as they may want the best for us (for folks that have one), they may sometimes be wrong, just as our biological parents may be about certain decisions that concern our lives. If the matter has been settled in the place of prayer with God and you have peace about the relationship, even though your godfather is still very reluctant to give a green flag about the relationship, you can trust that God’s say is over that of his/hers. Also even the disparagement of the mentor about the relationship should be enough propellant to surge the relationship to a success. The individuals involved should stay motivated to make sure that the relationship works out enough to disenfranchise the ‘prophecy’ of the godfather.

With these few words of mine, I hope I have been able to convince and not to confuse you that godfatherism should not play a major role in the happiness experienced in a relationship but rather should God’s say be and the inputs of the two people involved.

Best Regards

©Tobi Gbemisola

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http://www.mindstyle.com

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True Love: Myth or Fact?

They both met on a ship. He was an adventurous young man seeking to start a new life in another country. She was the daughter of an aristocrat, young and lovely to look upon. By an unknown twist of fate, they found themselves head over heels in love with each other. Their love was true and pure even till death when he had to sacrifice himself for her to live after their ship capsized. 50 years later, she is old, alone but still in love with him as she reminisced her experience to a group of explorers searching for answers.
If you are usual viewer of top grossing movies, you will already know that the story is that of The Titanic. When you watch a movie like that, you feel good and enjoy the story while it lasts. The feeling is mutual when you read a romantic novel-it makes you dream of true love come true. But more than once life has shown you another movie, one in which you are the main act, and of which the storyline turns pretty sour at the end. At this point you begin to reconsider the ideal you have about the existence of this so called true love.
“It probably does not exist. Let Disney continue to thrill us with their fantasy stories while we live in reality”, you think aloud to yourself.
There are certain things that make true love come true, in real life as we like to say it. One of such is that true love comes not by chance but by choice. The two lovers must truly and reservedly show themselves undiluted love, care and attention. Again, there can be no true love without giving. Giving in this context does not include splurging a month’s pay on a first date to impress her. Giving means opening your hands to each other’s needs without asking the common human question: “What’s in it for me?”. It is being that person that he can bare his soul out to, coming naked to you-without any fear of reprimand. Sacrifices are part of love. Where sacrifices are not made, love is not apparent. The Creator so loved his creation that He gave his dearly beloved son to die for their sins, even though they denied Him. Ancient Israel monarch, King Solomon sacrificed an innumerable count of cattle to his Lover. The depth of the love is evident in the size of the gift. Such sacrifices can be in finance, in time or in personal sentiments.
On a final note, true love must be worked hard at. It is said that nothing good comes easy and without pain, there can be no gain. If you have love as small as a mustard seed, in which you sow into the soil of the heart of one another, and both nurture it well, in time it will bloom to become a tree that gives life to the hope of the existence of true love in our world, becoming a testimony in the hearts of many to its alive, hale and hearty nature. After all, we all have the capacity to experience such love, not only Mr. John Legend.

Please feel free to say what you feel...your comments are most valuable!

A Single Guy I know...

It’s been 24 years now, 24 years without a girlfriend. Each movie he watches, like the Great Gatsby, religiously reminds him. As he listened to 2 face's Kiss of Life, the stark reality stands before him. Every time he goes out at night on campus, passing from Motion ground through Moremi to Awolowo Hall (#teamOAU), the thought haunts him. It’s his final year in school, and 'time dey go o brother', his friends tell him. He tells them in reply, 'I still have a few months to go on campus, I still have NYSC, so why the rush?' Whenever he meets a new girl, on social media or in the department, he wondering ‘could she be the one I put the ring into her finger and declare my eternal love to, the very girl I have been waiting for all these years?’
Tired of being in the friend zone, he left such relationships, weary of waiting and hoping she looks his way and considers him for a boyfriend...as her last hope. "What nonsense, I am more than the worth of ten thousand guys she dates!", as he thinks to himself every time he feels like regretting his leaving. Lucy had been the girl he hung out with as a ‘friend’ after asking her out that night three years ago, but last semester in school she told him she was in love with another. Sometimes these female folk can be wicked!
Just two nights ago, his friend Emma came displaying his new girlfriend like a trophy. "Wetin sef, na only you waka come?” he thought to himself as Emma excitedly gave him his own version of the Romeo and Juliet story.
He takes comfort in one thing, which is that as far as marriage is concerned, he isn't ready for it, so why should he need a relationship? He believes he is not for games, that he is a very straight forward person like Frank Donga, The Interview prodigy. He doesn't need a relationship to keep himself busy. He has a vision, a dream and a career to live, build and to actualize. No time for dillydallying. So as Uncle Leke Alder (#Letr2Jack) has told him, he will continue to live, pray and love until Miss Right walks into his life!

Oluwatobi Gbemisola
@TobiGbemisola
Your Life Coach

Getting anything you want in life

In this article are time tested and proven methods to get anything you want in life. Although there are several ways to go about that, one sure fire way is through people. Before I proceed, I would not want to make you think that you should engage in manipulating other people for your own benefits but these are techniques that emphasize a win-win situation for everyone.
In life, there are two approaches to solving problems. The first but unproductive way is by being independent, that is believing in one’s full capacity to success and solve problems by oneself without the aid of other people. The second and very effective approach is to have the mindset and attitude of bring interdependent, meaning to live as having other people help and you reciprocating the gesture. The most fulfilled individuals have the second disposition as a way of life. They give and in time, receive back what they have given, sometimes many folds over.
As an interdependent person, with the need to build relationships with people and create a network, here are three suggestions of ways to create a network of individuals that you can lean on when you need to and who you have their back when the time arises:
Make contact: this basically means meeting people. But just beyond this, take note to add to your network; individuals of significance and value to you who also view you in the same light. There is a simple and straight forward way to make contatcts: Go out. Even though you may be an introverted Melancholy or Phelg, try to go out of your comfort zone to meet people aside from the regular group of friends you have. And how do you meet them? At conferences, at church, at school and on social networks. Try to meet at least a new person a week.
Follow up: this is a term common in church where a new member is followed up, i.e, he is kept in contact with. But it isn’t only a church thing. Successful individuals keep in touch with new and old contacts they make. A call, text message, email, Whatsapp or BBM message, Facebook or Twitter message are all ways to keep in touch. When you do this, the individual will appreciate this and have you in mind.
Add value: keeping in touch in itself is not enough but taking it to the next level by putting this person’s interests at the fore front makes more sense. If the person loves cars for instance, send an article on the latest race cars that you saw on the internet as an email to him, if she loves dancing, you could go to a show to see her perform. We add value to individuals based on their individuality. It takes knowing what each person wants and giving it to them. If you do this well, you will not be forgotten in a long time. If you need a job for instance, it won’t take more than a call or two and you’ll have it because you have invested in that relationship well enough to withdraw from it.
In summary, it’s not what you know that matters but who you know!