The Principle of Retraction

When faced with tough situations and daunting life challenges, the default human response is either to take flight or to fight back. The weak minded, he whose strength is small on the battlefield of life, scampers away for safety, like a scared dog, with his tail between his legs. But the strong minded, the man and woman of character, withstands the dire state of circumstances and weathers the storm, no matter how severe it gets. The strong do not just withstand unfavorable circumstances; they however take a step a further by gleaning lessons from the set back. Such set back in life could mean having been fired from work, the close of a business as a result of recurrent loss and debt, the death of a loved one, or the breakup of a relationship. In every trail of life, there is always a lesson to be acquired, if we maintain a teachable spirit and attitude. In every failure is a gemstone of inspiration for success. It takes the wise at heart to discover such lessons and use them against the reoccurrence of such a calamity. It is learnt that after Hurricane Katrina had devastated major parts of New Orleans, USA several years ago, the engineers in charge of reconstruction are said to have used materials that would prevent such a catastrophe of that magnitude to have negative consequences on the landscape in the future. Also, the American Airspace Security systems have nonetheless improved greatly after 9/11, an event which still leaves Americans with fresh memories of its horror.

You see, this period of not-so-good conditions that put us on edge are a normal phase of life. From the moment we were born into the world, it was ordained that a mixture of good and bad, a bed of roses and thorns, be made ready for us. Life would not always be sweet, beautiful and easy. There are times when you may want to question your faith, when you look into the skies and with a low pitched voice ask ‘why?’. From the man in bowler hat in Aso Rock to the man in the shanties of AJ City (Ajegunle, Lagos), each one receives his own fair share of calamity.

Our responsibility in life is not to only accept this harsh reality of life but to live beyond it. There is a state of mind and living that settles for less and accepts the status quo as normal. Mediocrity, as it is called, is a backward way of perceiving the world. It is the single greatest threat to success, excellence and fulfillment. Mediocrity  is what separates CEOs from low level staff, Big business owners from one man businesses, happy and strong families from broken ones, great companies from good ones and first world countries from third world countries. The successful maintain an excellence mindset which sets them at the top. We should strive for the best in whatever we do, to come out tops and achieve the very best; in our work, relationships, families, finances and spiritual living. Aiming for the best and the top should be our attitude in whatever endeavor we pursue.

In the bid to fire an arrow from a bow, an experienced marksman will retrieve the arrow from its quiver and place it strategically on the bow string. As it happens, he has to pull back the arrow on the string that is, to retreat it just before firing. As he does this, he simultaneously aims at his target. Now the farther the distance to the target, the more retraction the arrow has to undergo and also the more the tension in the bow string. Such a marksman will not retract the arrow very slightly for a very far target.

Applying the principle above to life, it can be said that for there to be a step up, there has to first be a step back; for a climb up the mountain, we might slip a couple of times. We can also say that the greater our dream, goal or purpose, the more training we have to take in the university of life. For gold to come out pure, it has to go through an arduous process of refinement.  If your goal for instance is to build a multimillion naira business, then the training you would undergo would be quite different if you wanted to only set up a kiosk by the street. Though you might start small but you should not stay small, no matter the comfort being small brings. You should continuously seek for opportunities to grow and hone your skills at whatever you do. Try to produce better results than before previous times. Before undergoing a new task or project, ask yourself ‘how can I do this better than before’? If your life is plotted as a graph, it should have a gradual upward movement along the axis.

Come to think of it, the great men and women who rewrote history had many failures, trails and challenges. Nelson Mandela whose memoir I have just finished reading (Long Walk to Freedom) was many times separated from his family, could not bury his first son and mother when both passed away and spent 27 years in isolation for his beliefs. Helen Keller from infancy lost her senses of sight and hearing but still went on to get her education and write songs we still sing today. One of the greatest monarchs in biblical Israel times, King David, son of Jesse, was the least preferred of the sons of his father. The great deliverer of the Hebrews, Moses, spent forty years in exile from the ones he loved before he could lead them. There are countless many more men and women of valour that have had to grow out of the calamity of life to become all that they wanted to be. Before the sunshine is the rain, just before dawn is the darkness and before the dance is a time of mourning.

In the midst of unfavourable circumstances, don’t give up, instead man up and learn all you can. Like the butterfly breaking forth from the larvae of lack, low self esteem and addiction, take flight towards your destiny of bright colours today. I wish you all the best in your journey to greatness.
Sincerely yours, Oluwatobi Gbemisola.
Your Life Coach
@TobiGbemisola