By Akanni
Oladimeji Peterson
More often than not, as
human beings we doubt the very essence of our existence and question our inner
capacity and might in strive to achieve a meaningful metric of success in our
overall life pursuits. As a result, we worry, we wonder and we panic! Even some
time, some slip into clinical depression amounting from the measure of self
defeating thought they’ve had to nurture and battle with over the years. This
self defeating thoughts has culminated into what I’ve choose to call ‘‘a
rebooting system of self disbelief’’. The self belief system of many has
grossly been infected negatively by a mal-positive thinking virus and
apparently making many but few suffer on the accounts of ill emotional traumas.
These classes of short belief
individuals most often sense and perceive from their inner minds a self
diminishing thought, echoing to them vigorously and saying ‘‘you aren't good
enough! You are not talented enough! You don’t have what it takes! You
are too small to be successful at this! You are not just capable! That your
dream will forever remain a day dream, Success is limited and is meant for a
privileged few. You are not good enough! You are not good enough! You
are not good enough! Is all the noise of negativity they could hear and hence
get verbalizes from the internal dialogue that goes on within them!
The truth of the matter is that many today
are living life in counter opposite of what they've always aspire
or bargain for not to talk of the high expectations that had been placed on
their shoulders by all and sundry, ranging from family relations and to the
least level of friends. Hopes have been dashed far more than expected on many
frequencies within the shortest space. As a result many are puzzled by why many
events taking place in their lives is undergoing a downhill trend and hence
making them question their self capabilities. Are you an example of those ones?
If you’ve been, I can openly say to you today, that you are not alone! I’ve
beat myself up about this several times before too; I’m sure you can relate.
We’ve all been there. We all have had our bad days and moments of self
disbelief.
I’ve found myself in
challenging circumstance many a times. I sometimes even felt as if the world
was coming to an end, by virtue of the gravity of worries and taste of
dissatisfaction I have had to march up with over time. I sometimes consider
myself as being unjustly singled out for pains and sufferings on the basis of
the enormous troubles that I had had to confront at a time. Sometimes the
pressure coming from peers, family, work, and the society at large may even be
enough to make one feel completely broken on the inside. On a general scale, If
we don’t have the ‘‘right’’ education, job, relationship, standardized
spiritual connection with our source, lifestyle and so forth by a certain age
or timeframe, we assume we’re just ‘‘not good enough’’. We unconsciously size
up ourselves as the ‘‘not good’’ for anything element of the society.
To emphatically
reinforce the weaknesses we all share as disclosed above, I have for a time
fall a victim of self defeating and destructive mindset, emotions and feelings
which I’m quite sure that a number of people reading this aren’t immune against
either 100%, including you. Yes, You! You probably must have once shared of
such killer thoughts at point in time in your life, except you belong to a
fellowship of self deceivers, who always cherish to be kept under the veil of
self-deceit and lies, pending when they would be awaken to the reality and
truth that beholds their life’s present predicaments, which only come to
revelation during the uncommon hours.
I probably would have
remained an ardent carrier of self destructive thinking, who has no believe
whatsoever in his God gifted personal positive features, if I had not gotten
liberated! Thanks to an old man, who decided to show me favor upon picking
interest in the cause of my dilemma one fateful sunny Sunday afternoon during
my occasional solitary moments. This old man help reawaken the dormant giant in
me.
As I took into
remorse on a full time scale as regards my lifelong ordeals, I narrated with
full disclosure those shabby moments of the past and the present with no hope
of a better posterity to the old man in a teary fill eyes. But as I continued
in total narration of my misfortunes, an old friend of whom we both completed high
school at around the same period five years ago made a snap appearance into the
scene; it was with magnificent awe that I admired his highly sophisticated look
and physical possession, he is now a proud owner of the latest model of the
roll Royce variation of cars. From our conversation, He is now a graduate
from one the reputable private universities in the country and had just been
successfully hired as the director of finance in one of the big four
telecommunication companies in the country while working as a trainee.
This struck me hard
emotionally, I almost assume my friend had come to make a mockery of my yet to
materialize dreams. As a result, I unconsciously went into a fellowship of self
pity flowing from a stream of internally diminished expectation. Therefore, my
encounter with my friend ended up leaving me with more worries and soft
resentment than before. Life had been difficult. I’ve obviously lost hope in my
self-capabilities and drive. In a sharp response to my self-doubtful emotion,
the old man sighed and said boy, ‘‘Truth be told …. You are good
enough!’’. With this, I look back at him with teary fill eyes once
again, look at me old man! ‘‘I’ve lost it; I’m good for nothing!’’
The old man repeated
once again saying, boy, ‘‘Truth be told … You
are good enough!’’ I’m good enough? This time
around I gained a feeling of a second hand mockery! For his words sound
absurdum not just paradoxical by effect to me, as a result, I made a blind
attempt to debunk his words, considering my current repressive status. To fast
track the narration of my objections and reactions, I must say at this juncture
that the story has changed! The lyric is now different! Those words are now
profound and making a lot of senses to me. It now occupies the inner realm of
my soul and mind and you would soon know why.
The self struggles with
the trend of nurturing the ‘‘not good enough’’ feelings and down treating of my
self-worth began to dwindle right from the moments the old man began to put
things into perspective for actions to be effected by me, I realized I’ve been
sprinting on the wrong track of thoughts and ideas for the past half-quartet
years of my life. My encounter with the old man indeed symbolizes the
beginning of a new horizon and the opening of a new chapter of reasoning in my
life. He made a sensible appeal to my yet to mature ways of thinking and made
me understand that ‘‘no man will amount to something when he think nothing of
himself ’’ the starting point for any worthwhile accomplishments always begin
with believing in ones God giving capabilities and strengths.
Now, let me share with
you on a summary note, some the memorable principal lessons and the little
extra inspirations I gathered via the mental note I made while with the old man
that fateful sunny Sunday afternoon as he spoke softly to me in a tender toned
voice of empathy. Permit me to render the summary as thus;
Nobody is doing better than you because
nobody can do better than you – you
are walking your own path. Sometimes the reasons you struggle with insecurity
is because you compare your behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone
else’s public highlight reel. Forget what everyone is doing and achieving.
You’re good enough! Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing
yourself to live YOUR best life.
Everything is coming together… maybe not
immediately, but gradually- when times are tough,
remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurts
you but never forget what it taught you. Pain is part of growing you know!
You’re still capable of achieving your best despite the pains, if you will
resolve to keep being at your very best.
There’s always something small you can do to change your own story
– there is absolutely nothing about your present situation that
prevents you from moving forward, one tiny step at a time is enough. Remember,
vision without action is just a daydream. And that measurable vision must be
combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps. You must step up
the steps, if you must step up the stairs. And all you have to do is take one
step at a time. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up
being the biggest step in our life. ‘‘Tiptoe if you must, but take that step’’
he whispered to me in a broken voice level. The secret of getting ahead is
starting ahead on a small note.
You always good enough to make an effort and that’s what’s
important in the end- everything you achieve comes from something you attempt. Make a
try and try again if you fail. Trust me, twenty years from now you will be
disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did do. Give
yourself a chance and make an attempt to correcting your Achilles heel now
before it becomes too late for your weakening physical body to withstand.
You don’t need to get everyone’s approval first to move forward. – stop
listening to what the world says you should want or do. Start listening to who
you are. Truth be told, there are only a few people in this world that will
stay 100% true to you, and YOU should be one of them. Stay true to your
instincts.
You are good enough! ‘‘the old man exclaimed’’, if
you have no other testimony right now, you have this one; ‘‘I’m still here
trying’’ be positive, patient and persistent. The more you feel like quitting,
the more there is to be gained by continuing to do the three. The strongest
people aren’t the people who always win, but who don’t give up when they lose.
Truth be told, you are good enough!
You are stronger than whatever is troubling you- use
each setback, each disappointment as a cue to push on ahead with more
determination than ever before. When something bad happens, you can either let
it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you. The choice is
yours, and I’m quite sure you won’t want the consequences of bad choices made
get you relegated to the deep? So pump yourself up! You are a lot stronger than
you think you are. You may not be where you’ve most wanted for now, celebrate
the fact that you’re not where you used to be. I say to you boy, you’ve always
been a fighter, fight one more round, and another, and another, and another
until you become victorious. In the words of Earnest Hemingway - ‘‘Grace is
faith under pressure’’. You can always win when you ‘‘remain strong’’ and
‘‘kept on believing’’.
The quality of your vision drives the quality of your life – it’s up
to you how you visualize things and what you focus on. Forget what you don’t
like. Focus on what excites you. If you see a possibility, explore it. If you
have a dream, live it. Those who are passionate and excited about what they’re
doing have an advantage that is nearly impossible to conquer. Be one of these
people my boy, the old man altered.
For everything you’ve lost, you gained something new-
appreciate what you have today. Life does not have to be perfect to be
wonderful at all times. No regret, just lessons. No worries, just acceptance.
No expectations, just gratitude. Life is too short. The story of your life has
many chapters. One bad chapter doesn’t mean it’s the end. So stop re-reading
the bad one already, and turn the page.
Your scars are symbols of your strength- don’t
ever be ashamed of the scars life has left with you. A scar means the hurts is
over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned a
lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. A scar is the tattoo of a triumph. So
don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage. Don’t allow them to make you live
your life in fear. You can’t make the scars in your life disappear, but
you can change the way you see them. You can start seeing your scars as a sign
of strength not pain. It’s all about mindset.
Don’t forget to work hard on yourself too- self
respect, self love self worth…. There’s a reason they all starts with ‘self’’.
You can’t receive them from anyone else, you got to earn them. Earn respect of
others by having audacity to respect you. Love yourself as if you were rainbow
with pots of gold at both ends. It’s your responsibility, above all, to see
your own value. And this duty to yourself means refusing to let others do your
thinking, talking, and deciding for you- hence grappling with hard work.
What you’re capable of achieving is greatly based on how much you
want it. – When it means enough to you, then you can do it. When you
are willing and committed and persistent, you will get yourself there every
time. Success is the natural outcome of consistently applying your focused
effort to what you want. The fatigue might be there sometimes, but you must
understand that putting it aside is the single most important factor in
succeeding. Just like the slogan of Nike, ‘‘JUST DO IT!’’ you are good enough!
With this words, my mind got the revamping of it life, my thinking
got transformed and my perception of the self got a new meaning from that
moments on. I can now confidently say to anyone who cares to listen, that‘‘I’m
good enough for something if not for everything’’ can you also boldfully assert
that to yourself? If not, I challenge you to take a cue from the shared insight
pool of wisdom and thoughts taught to me by the old man and make a bold stand
to start believing in yourself, because truth be told, you are good
enough!
Akanni Oladimeji Peterson is a student of
Economics at the Federal University of Agriculture Abeokuta, (FUNAAB) Ogun
state, Nigeria. He is an Associate accounting technician West Africa [AATWA]
and a professional student member of The Institute of Chartered Accountants of
Nigeria [ICAN]. He has served in capacity of Audit officer with Fred O. Idika
& co (Chartered Accountants), a fast growing private accounting practice in
Lagos. He also has significant experience in the Academics at the intermediate
level, having served as pedagogue with several privately owned high schools’
and tutorial centers based in Lagos for years, with a mandate to making a
notable impact in the life everyone who comes in contact with him. He is a freelance
writer, intrapreneur, public affair Analyst and an inspirational speaker with a
lot of potential. Oladimeji is fervent reader, a realist by nature and a strong
advocate for an ideal society where things works and is working in all areas.
He tweets from @olazp. Contact him via Akannioladimeji@gmail.com