‘‘YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!’’

By Akanni Oladimeji Peterson

More often than not, as human beings we doubt the very essence of our existence and question our inner capacity and might in strive to achieve a meaningful metric of success in our overall life pursuits. As a result, we worry, we wonder and we panic! Even some time, some slip into clinical depression amounting from the measure of self defeating thought they’ve had to nurture and battle with over the years. This self defeating thoughts has culminated into what I’ve choose to call ‘‘a rebooting system of self disbelief’’. The self belief system of many has grossly been infected negatively by a mal-positive thinking virus and apparently making many but few suffer on the accounts of ill emotional traumas.

 These classes of short belief individuals most often sense and perceive from their inner minds a self diminishing thought, echoing to them vigorously and saying ‘‘you aren't good enough! You are not talented enough! You don’t have what it takes! You are too small to be successful at this! You are not just capable! That your dream will forever remain a day dream, Success is limited and is meant for a privileged few. You are not good enough! You are not good enough! You are not good enough! Is all the noise of negativity they could hear and hence get verbalizes from the internal dialogue that goes on within them!

The truth of the matter is that many today are living life in counter opposite of what they've always aspire or bargain for not to talk of the high expectations that had been placed on their shoulders by all and sundry, ranging from family relations and to the least level of friends. Hopes have been dashed far more than expected on many frequencies within the shortest space. As a result many are puzzled by why many events taking place in their lives is undergoing a downhill trend and hence making them question their self capabilities. Are you an example of those ones? If you’ve been, I can openly say to you today, that you are not alone! I’ve beat myself up about this several times before too; I’m sure you can relate. We’ve all been there. We all have had our bad days and moments of self disbelief.

I’ve found myself in challenging circumstance many a times. I sometimes even felt as if the world was coming to an end, by virtue of the gravity of worries and taste of dissatisfaction I have had to march up with over time. I sometimes consider myself as being unjustly singled out for pains and sufferings on the basis of the enormous troubles that I had had to confront at a time. Sometimes the pressure coming from peers, family, work, and the society at large may even be enough to make one feel completely broken on the inside. On a general scale, If we don’t have the ‘‘right’’ education, job, relationship, standardized spiritual connection with our source, lifestyle and so forth by a certain age or timeframe, we assume we’re just ‘‘not good enough’’. We unconsciously size up ourselves as the ‘‘not good’’ for anything element of the society. 

To emphatically reinforce the weaknesses we all share as disclosed above, I have for a time fall a victim of self defeating and destructive mindset, emotions and feelings which I’m quite sure that a number of people reading this aren’t immune against either 100%, including you. Yes, You! You probably must have once shared of such killer thoughts at point in time in your life, except you belong to a fellowship of self deceivers, who always cherish to be kept under the veil of self-deceit and lies, pending when they would be awaken to the reality and truth that beholds their life’s present predicaments, which only come to revelation during the uncommon hours.

I probably would have remained an ardent carrier of self destructive thinking, who has no believe whatsoever in his God gifted personal positive features, if I had not gotten liberated! Thanks to an old man, who decided to show me favor upon picking interest in the cause of my dilemma one fateful sunny Sunday afternoon during my occasional solitary moments. This old man help reawaken the dormant giant in me.  

 As I took into remorse on a full time scale as regards my lifelong ordeals, I narrated with full disclosure those shabby moments of the past and the present with no hope of a better posterity to the old man in a teary fill eyes. But as I continued in total narration of my misfortunes, an old friend of whom we both completed high school at around the same period five years ago made a snap appearance into the scene; it was with magnificent awe that I admired his highly sophisticated look and physical possession, he is now a proud owner of the latest model of the roll Royce variation of cars.  From our conversation, He is now a graduate from one the reputable private universities in the country and had just been successfully hired as the director of finance in one of the big four telecommunication companies in the country while working as a trainee.

This struck me hard emotionally, I almost assume my friend had come to make a mockery of my yet to materialize dreams. As a result, I unconsciously went into a fellowship of self pity flowing from a stream of internally diminished expectation. Therefore, my encounter with my friend ended up leaving me with more worries and soft resentment than before. Life had been difficult. I’ve obviously lost hope in my self-capabilities and drive. In a sharp response to my self-doubtful emotion, the old man sighed and said boy, ‘‘Truth be told …. You are good enough!’’.  With this, I look back at him with teary fill eyes once again, look at me old man! ‘‘I’ve lost it; I’m good for nothing!’’

The old man repeated once again saying, boy, ‘‘Truth be told … You are good enough!’’ I’m good enough? This time around I gained a feeling of a second hand mockery! For his words sound absurdum not just paradoxical by effect to me, as a result, I made a blind attempt to debunk his words, considering my current repressive status. To fast track the narration of my objections and reactions, I must say at this juncture that the story has changed! The lyric is now different! Those words are now profound and making a lot of senses to me. It now occupies the inner realm of my soul and mind and you would soon know why.   

The self struggles with the trend of nurturing the ‘‘not good enough’’ feelings and down treating of my self-worth began to dwindle right from the moments the old man began to put things into perspective for actions to be effected by me, I realized I’ve been sprinting on the wrong track of thoughts and ideas for the past half-quartet years of my life.  My encounter with the old man indeed symbolizes the beginning of a new horizon and the opening of a new chapter of reasoning in my life. He made a sensible appeal to my yet to mature ways of thinking and made me understand that ‘‘no man will amount to something when he think nothing of himself ’’ the starting point for any worthwhile accomplishments always begin with believing in ones God giving capabilities and strengths.

Now, let me share with you on a summary note, some the memorable principal lessons and the little extra inspirations I gathered via the mental note I made while with the old man that fateful sunny Sunday afternoon as he spoke softly to me in a tender toned voice of empathy. Permit me to render the summary as thus;

Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you – you are walking your own path. Sometimes the reasons you struggle with insecurity is because you compare your behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel. Forget what everyone is doing and achieving. You’re good enough! Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live YOUR best life.

Everything is coming together… maybe not immediately, but gradually- when times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurts you but never forget what it taught you. Pain is part of growing you know! You’re still capable of achieving your best despite the pains, if you will resolve to keep being at your very best.

There’s always something small you can do to change your own story – there is absolutely nothing about your present situation that prevents you from moving forward, one tiny step at a time is enough. Remember, vision without action is just a daydream. And that measurable vision must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps. You must step up the steps, if you must step up the stairs. And all you have to do is take one step at a time. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step in our life. ‘‘Tiptoe if you must, but take that step’’ he whispered to me in a broken voice level. The secret of getting ahead is starting ahead on a small note.

You always good enough to make an effort and that’s what’s important in the end- everything you achieve comes from something you attempt. Make a try and try again if you fail. Trust me, twenty years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did do. Give yourself a chance and make an attempt to correcting your Achilles heel now before it becomes too late for your weakening physical body to withstand.

You don’t need to get everyone’s approval first to move forward. – stop listening to what the world says you should want or do. Start listening to who you are. Truth be told, there are only a few people in this world that will stay 100% true to you, and YOU should be one of them. Stay true to your instincts.

You are good enough! ‘‘the old man exclaimed’’, if you have no other testimony right now, you have this one; ‘‘I’m still here trying’’ be positive, patient and persistent. The more you feel like quitting, the more there is to be gained by continuing to do the three. The strongest people aren’t the people who always win, but who don’t give up when they lose. Truth be told, you are good enough!

You are stronger than whatever is troubling you- use each setback, each disappointment as a cue to push on ahead with more determination than ever before. When something bad happens, you can either let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you. The choice is yours, and I’m quite sure you won’t want the consequences of bad choices made get you relegated to the deep? So pump yourself up! You are a lot stronger than you think you are. You may not be where you’ve most wanted for now, celebrate the fact that you’re not where you used to be. I say to you boy, you’ve always been a fighter, fight one more round, and another, and another, and another until you become victorious. In the words of Earnest Hemingway - ‘‘Grace is faith under pressure’’. You can always win when you ‘‘remain strong’’ and ‘‘kept on believing’’.

The quality of your vision drives the quality of your life – it’s up to you how you visualize things and what you focus on. Forget what you don’t like. Focus on what excites you. If you see a possibility, explore it. If you have a dream, live it. Those who are passionate and excited about what they’re doing have an advantage that is nearly impossible to conquer. Be one of these people my boy, the old man altered.

For everything you’ve lost, you gained something new- appreciate what you have today. Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful at all times. No regret, just lessons. No worries, just acceptance. No expectations, just gratitude. Life is too short. The story of your life has many chapters. One bad chapter doesn’t mean it’s the end. So stop re-reading the bad one already, and turn the page.

Your scars are symbols of your strength- don’t ever be ashamed of the scars life has left with you. A scar means the hurts is over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. A scar is the tattoo of a triumph. So don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage. Don’t allow them to make you live your life in fear.  You can’t make the scars in your life disappear, but you can change the way you see them. You can start seeing your scars as a sign of strength not pain. It’s all about mindset.

Don’t forget to work hard on yourself too- self respect, self love self worth…. There’s a reason they all starts with ‘self’’. You can’t receive them from anyone else, you got to earn them. Earn respect of others by having audacity to respect you. Love yourself as if you were rainbow with pots of gold at both ends. It’s your responsibility, above all, to see your own value. And this duty to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for you- hence grappling with hard work.

What you’re capable of achieving is greatly based on how much you want it. – When it means enough to you, then you can do it. When you are willing and committed and persistent, you will get yourself there every time. Success is the natural outcome of consistently applying your focused effort to what you want. The fatigue might be there sometimes, but you must understand that putting it aside is the single most important factor in succeeding. Just like the slogan of Nike, ‘‘JUST DO IT!’’ you are good enough!

With this words, my mind got the revamping of it life, my thinking got transformed and my perception of the self got a new meaning from that moments on. I can now confidently say to anyone who cares to listen, that‘‘I’m good enough for something if not for everything’’ can you also boldfully assert that to yourself? If not, I challenge you to take a cue from the shared insight pool of wisdom and thoughts taught to me by the old man and make a bold stand to start believing in yourself, because truth be told, you are good enough!

Akanni Oladimeji Peterson is a student of Economics at the Federal University of Agriculture Abeokuta, (FUNAAB) Ogun state, Nigeria. He is an Associate accounting technician West Africa [AATWA] and a professional student member of The Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria [ICAN]. He has served in capacity of Audit officer with Fred O. Idika & co (Chartered Accountants), a fast growing private accounting practice in Lagos. He also has significant experience in the Academics at the intermediate level, having served as pedagogue with several privately owned high schools’ and tutorial centers based in Lagos for years, with a mandate to making a notable impact in the life everyone who comes in contact with him. He is a freelance writer, intrapreneur, public affair Analyst and an inspirational speaker with a lot of potential. Oladimeji is fervent reader, a realist by nature and a strong advocate for an ideal society where things works and is working in all areas. He tweets from @olazp. Contact him via Akannioladimeji@gmail.com